After Hot Coffee I knew I needed to watch something that could calm me down, so I picked a series about the world's deadliest animals.
This wasn't a good documentary. I'll be frank. It was one step above watching "When Animals Attack" on Fox. It was sensational, flashy, and extremely repetitive. It felt like they took 20 mins of footage and stretched into a 45 min episode. Every other line of dialogue was 'when we return we'll...'. Sidenote- the narrator stated that Australia is the driest place on Earth? What the hell does that mean? Like dry air? How can a place be more dry than other places? To quote Seinfeld, "dry is dry".
What I learned: Australia is a scary, scary place where lots of people die terrible deaths. That's what the episode would lead you to believe anyway. What I REALLY learned was about species of sharks, snakes and spiders that haunt the island and use their specific skills and venom to catch their prey. Sharks never stop smelling and 2/3 of its brain is devoted to smelling. A snake's tongue is forked for the same reason we have two ears- to give it a sense of direction. The redback spider can kill prey 50 times its own size.
What I liked: Basically what I learned. There was some good footage of animals, especially sharks and spiders.
What I didn't like: Imagine if Spike Tv got into the documentary business. That'd be this one. The film only had two clear goals: 1. Make everyone afraid to ever leave their house, let alone visit Australia. 2. to give work to a group of shitty actors who possess only enough talent to play hapless surfers and hikers, doomed to a slow poisonous death. I've never seen such poor acting in all my life. It might seem petty to pick on re-enactment actors, but if you saw this film you'd be cheering for the snakes and sharks by the end of it. A good nature documentary leaves you with feelings of awe and majesty at the splendors of the nature world. This one made me think "damn nature, you scary!"
Maybe I've become a documentary snob? Too many David Attenborough narratives ruined me? Or maybe I just have standards higher than what a 40 min presentation on "the driest continent" has to offer.
Anyway, I'll probably watch the other episodes. They are all currently on netflix.
Here's the rough equivalent, via The Simpsons:
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