Day 30: Infested Ep. 1

So after watching boring old mammals the other day, I felt like watching something creepy-crawly. I found it.

Infested is an Animal Planet series with a pretty straightforward premise: people's homes are infested with the kind of stuff that usual infests homes (hint- it's not puppies and kittens). Episode 1 focuses on snakes, spiders, and ants.

What I learned: Learned a good deal about the habitats of these animals. Snakes live in something called a hibernacula; basically a snake den. What a cool word, right? I also learned about the Argentine Ant, which is a special breed (guess where they're from?) that can't be deterred by traditional exterminator methods. They have multiple queens in their colonies so they can breed at an incredible rate. In regards to spiders, I already knew what I needed to know; they freak me out.

What I liked: I thought it'd be like most other TV nature documentaries; light on content, heavy on crappy re-enactments and commercial breaks. But this one was structured in a way that really built the tension. Instead of telling one story at a time, they told all three at once, allowing them to build up to an exciting climax and eventual resolution. I typically dislike the amount of foreshadowing shows like this do, but it worked well here; the ominous shots of spiders on their webs or the close ups of ants on the kitchen table did a lot to build excitement for whatever was coming next. You knew it was gonna get bad (it's called 'Infested' not 'a baker's dozen') so it was interesting to see how it'd get that bad.

What I didn't like: I was disappointed they didn't have any actual footage of infested homes. You could tell it was all doctored footage and stuff they filmed elsewhere of snakes and spiders. The guy with the snake infestation said he caught 40 snakes in his backyard in one afternoon; how awesome would it be to see that on film? I'm surprised the homeowners didn't document the pests more.

Overall, it was super creepy. There were some freaky shots of snakes sneaking into the house, spiders on the bed, and ants in a dude's mouth. On more than one occasion I might have yelped in momentary fear while watching it. I had no idea I was so averse to the creepy-crawly animals of nature, but something about the juxtaposition of seeing these wild animals in your home is too much for me.

The whole thing made me think of Arachnophobia, an underrated movie from my childhood that helped solidify feelings of awe and terror for the eight-leggers.

Well, this trailer doesn't capture the intensity of the movie at all. It portrays it as some kind of "Mouse Hunt"-esque family comedy. It's not. Wow, what a weird trailer. 

Anway, Infested is on netflix. The next episode is about raccoons! 

Day 27: Life of Mammals (Opportunists)

I've never been a big fan of mammals. Or more specifically, learning about mammals. When I want to learn about nature I'm drawn to the exotic or the bizarre. Give me a deep-sea crab any day of the week.

But if anyone was going to teach me about mammals, let it be BBC and David Attenborough.

What I learned: This episode was about opportunists, specifically in regards to eating habits. We learn about how raccoons search for food with their hands; they use as much brain power to feel for food as humans do using their eyes. We followed a bear through the seasons as he prepared for hibernation, then came out and began refueling; a bear can lose up to a third of its weight during hibernation. Then we spent some time in the sewers watching rats; it was pretty gross. 

What I liked: Helped me develop an overall interest in mammals. With the exception of apes and gorillas, mammals seem too 'normal' a creature to warrant a documentary. These episodes are definitely changing that for me.  

What I didn't like: They showed a type of skunk that hangs out in bat caves and waits for baby bats to fall off the ceiling so they can find them and eat them. When it's a skunk versus a bat I really don't know who to root for. I think no matter who wins, it's still gonna be gross. The whole thing just bummed me out. (FYI- the skunk won and the baby bat was eaten alive.)

What you need to take away from this post is that raccoons stole the show. Here's a bunch of them in a hammock:

These episodes can be watched on Netflix. 

Day 18: Dogs Decoded

One of the first topics I wanted to learn about when I started this documentary quest was dogs. I've been a dog-walker for 4 months now, and the more time I spend around the dogs the more questions I have. I didn't grow up with dogs, so this is the first time I've gotten to know dogs individually. I'm blown away by how strong their personalities can be. Some of my dogs are really smart, some seem quite dim, some are well mannered, some are quite rude. I quickly became interested in finding out what factors shape a dog's personality.

Trying to understand the brains of dog owners would be even more difficult...

Dogs Decoded is a well put together doc about the history of dog domestication and how it affected human's evolution from hunter gatherer to civilized culture. It also discusses what factors separate dogs from their more wild cousins, wolves and foxes.

What I learned: 2 cool pieces of knowledge. There are more pet dogs in the world than babies. What? Crazy, right? More dogs than babies. Also, there is a chemical that the brain releases when humans play with dogs (or pets in general) that is also released when humans engage in sex or mothers begin to breastfeed. It's called oxytocin, or the 'cuddle hormone', and it explains why we get so much enjoyment from playing or petting dogs. Likewise, dogs release certain chemicals of joy and pleasure when petted or given attention.

What I liked: So much puppy footage!! I loved all the widdle puppy dawgs.

What I didn't like: I found some of the findings a bit dubious. Discussions about how much of the current dog was shaped by nature or nurture is just too hard to finalize in an hour long documentary. Also, some of their findings were just hard to visualize on screen. They showed a dog that could understand over 200 words (the owner would say "get your bear" and the dog would grab the stuffed bear"). I bet if I saw this in real life I'd be much more impressed but on film it left out too many factors that could have influenced the dog's understanding. Plus how many takes did they have to do before it got all the right animals in order?

On the plus side I found my dream job: a science organization in Germany that strictly tests the intelligence of dogs to chimps. Sign. me. up.

Couple other observations:
Though it was an American-made film, everyone they interviewed in the doc was British. Why? I let this distract me way more than it should have.
They interviewed a handful  of faithful dog owners. I found that the ones that were interviewed by themselves seemed 50% more like the stereotypical overly obsessed pet owner than the ones filmed with friends or family. Moral is, don't gush about your pets when you're alone.
One dude they interviewed claimed that it was because we learned to domesticate dogs that we could properly handle cattle, which in turn allowed us to start living in one place and not be nomadic. Without domesticated dogs we wouldn't have modern society, he said. Strong statement dude.
A team of scientists in Europe are breeding foxes to see what traits they share with the common dog. They are breeding out aggressive genes to see what happens. Within 2 or 3 generations the foxes started acting, and even looking, like house dogs, all due to just selective breeding.
The same scientists then did the opposite, and only bred foxes with super-aggressive traits.Genetically altered super-angry foxes?  Sounds like the plot to a terrible horror movie, right?

Though it was a good doc, it didn't answer the specific questions I'm looking for. So the search continues for more dog docs.

The documentary can be found on netflix.

Totally unrelated but I can't stop watching this commercial. Doesn't even have a car in it.

Day 8: Nature's Deadliest Australia

After Hot Coffee I knew I needed to watch something that could calm me down, so I picked a series about the world's deadliest animals.

This wasn't a good documentary. I'll be frank. It was one step above watching "When Animals Attack" on Fox. It was sensational, flashy, and extremely repetitive. It felt like they took 20 mins of footage and stretched into a 45 min episode. Every other line of dialogue was 'when we return we'll...'. Sidenote- the narrator stated that Australia is the driest place on Earth? What the hell does that mean? Like dry air? How can a place be more dry than other places? To quote Seinfeld, "dry is dry".

What I learned: Australia is a scary, scary place where lots of people die terrible deaths. That's what the episode would lead you to believe anyway. What I REALLY learned was about species of sharks, snakes and spiders that haunt the island and use their specific skills and venom to catch their prey. Sharks never stop smelling and 2/3 of its brain is devoted to smelling. A snake's tongue is forked for the same reason we have two ears- to give it a sense of direction. The redback spider can kill prey 50 times its own size.

What I liked: Basically what I learned. There was some good footage of animals, especially sharks and spiders.

What I didn't like: Imagine if Spike Tv got into the documentary business. That'd be this one. The film only had two clear goals: 1. Make everyone afraid to ever leave their house, let alone visit Australia. 2. to give work to a group of shitty actors who possess only enough talent to play hapless surfers and hikers, doomed to a slow poisonous death. I've never seen such poor acting in all my life. It might seem petty to pick on re-enactment actors, but if you saw this film you'd be cheering for the snakes and sharks by the end of it. A good nature documentary leaves you with feelings of awe and majesty at the splendors of the nature world. This one made me think "damn nature, you scary!"

Maybe I've become a documentary snob? Too many David Attenborough narratives ruined me? Or maybe I just have standards higher than what a 40 min presentation on "the driest continent" has to offer.

Anyway, I'll probably watch the other episodes. They are all currently on netflix.

Here's the rough equivalent, via The Simpsons: