I'm very happy I stumbled upon this documentary because it gave me a lot to think about. And it just happened to be Valentine's Day, which was oddly appropriate!
"Virtual Adultery and Cyberspace Love" follows one story, 3 people, and 2 dimensions. In real life,Lee and Caroline are a married couple with kids. In the virtual life, Caroline spends her time flirting and sexing with men all over the world. Spending 13+ hours a day on the computer, she neglects her kids and no longer shares a bed with her husband. The doc follows Lee as he deals with the woman he loves and her addiction.
Never having used Second Life, or any virtual world like it, I'm fascinated by adults who get sucked into it. I just assume it's something kids or young adults would get addicted to, more than actual adults with bills, a job, and especially kids.
What I learned: I'd seen stuff on internet addiction before; this is such an interesting topic to me. This film focuses on 2 themes: internet addiction/the attraction of a virtual personality, and infidelity. We all realize we've become a digital society, almost completely dependent on the technology that surrounds us. But do we know when it becomes too much? How would you know you were 'addicted' to the internet or the opportunities it offers? Was that addiction created, or just brought out from inside of you? If Caroline lived 300 years ago, would she have been looking for an form of escapism, or was that desire created by our digital age as well? Then there's the fidelity aspect- is it cheating if it only takes place online? What does it take to cheat? Does it have to be physical? Or can it be emotional: an intimate connection with someone else while you're already in a committed relationship?
What I liked: The film did a great job of not painting anyone as a villain; though Caroline was obviously doing some shitty things, that's not really debatable, they let her tell her story. Though she loves her husband she suffers from depression and doesn't feel fulfilled. These feelings led her to Second Life. I also really liked her family: they seem to be doing nothing but supporting her through all this, which is the right attitude to take towards an addict. Especially the husband. He seems to be taking everything with patience. At one point Caroline goes to meet one of her online boyfriends to see if what they have is more than just an online connection. Lee allows it and stays at home to take care of the kids. The online relationship doesn't pan out and she returns home to her husband and kids, still not happy but willing to work to make it better.
What I liked: The film did a great job of not painting anyone as a villain; though Caroline was obviously doing some shitty things, that's not really debatable, they let her tell her story. Though she loves her husband she suffers from depression and doesn't feel fulfilled. These feelings led her to Second Life. I also really liked her family: they seem to be doing nothing but supporting her through all this, which is the right attitude to take towards an addict. Especially the husband. He seems to be taking everything with patience. At one point Caroline goes to meet one of her online boyfriends to see if what they have is more than just an online connection. Lee allows it and stays at home to take care of the kids. The online relationship doesn't pan out and she returns home to her husband and kids, still not happy but willing to work to make it better.
What I didn't like: It would have been cool to hear from some experts or sociologists about how often internet addiction like this happens, and what can be done about it. It would have been cool to go back and forth from this personal story to the broader picture.
The video can be seen in 4 parts on youtube:
Last week I read an amazing article in Wired about the perils of falling in love online. It's about a middle aged man who pretends to be a young Marine online and falls in love with a 17-year-old girl in another state. It was shocking and sad, and reminded me that you never can trust who you are talking to online.
You can read the article here:
http://www.american-buddha.com/wakinglife.flirtingwithdisaster.htm
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